I get sad that I’ve never been in love.

I watched Goodfellas for the first time today, and during the mafia wedding, when the extended family lined up to give their wedding gifts, I suddenly wanted to have a wedding. It sounds insane. For whatever reason, this mafia wedding scene brought up my need to find a husband and fall in love. It made me want it bad. And not just for all those sweet mafia wedding gifts.

I’ve sulked when it comes to finding love. I’ve made excuses of being career-focused or too busy, too damaged, too bitter. I’ve made a game of denying the pursuit…