Sometimes, I feel like I can’t feel my life.

I observe it happening, and my brain keeps track of everything — the wins, the losses, the drama, the bliss. I register how I feel; I can speak to how I feel (at length to my therapist and friends); but I can’t experience my feelings.

I used to be a kid who cried a lot. I moved schools in fourth grade because I cried every day at school and was teased mercilessly for it. I cried in the classroom, on the playground, walking home from school — sometimes for no reason at all. I can’t remember if I froze those feelings when I switched…